The Ninja Wisdom Deck: 50 Deadly Meditations for the Non-Ninja

According to a very top secret report from the International Order of Ninjas (ION) ninjahood is up as much as 4 million percent in the past months. And as the global economy, housing market, job market, and world ecosystem take a nosedive into the shallow end, more and more people are leaving their jobs to pursue the path of the ninja. And in an extremely rare public appearance we have these words from Master Kudamono, the supreme leader of ION. "As the supreme leader of all ninjas, I am not at all surprised at the success of the official handbook. Of course you puny sniveling, bed-wetting nonjas [non ninjas] desire the ultimate power of ninja-ness. Let me just say that this deck is not for the faint of heart. It contains all the ninja wisdom needed to prepare you for your long journey from nonja, to ninjaish, ninjalike, oooooooh, and finally HSWTAT? (Holy Shit, Was That A Ninja?) but perfectly condensed, like a crystal spear of death. Using this deck will be very much like having a flaming arrow rip though your eyeball and pierce your deep subconscious. We've used this content to train a seriously stellar team of ninjas on a remote island off the cost of North Korea and the results were not pretty. Only .01% of those selected passed on to become full ninjas. Know this, you will cry, bleed, scream, and curse your mother's grave. But in the end you will know how to handle battles with the living dead, undead, possessed, enchanted, ethereal, and killer squirrels."