A couples' guide to creating unique, personalized, and Christ-honoring wedding vows includes suggestions on how to involve the congregation in the ceremony and advice for vow renewal ceremonies and second marriages.
There is a great deal of information available for anyone who is planning their own wedding. As a wedding Officiant, I can tell you, people often invest thousands of dollars in their weddings, but typically spend very little time planning their vows, or leave it entirely up to someone like me to write the vows for them, and that's fine. That's part of what people pay us to do. But the truth is, a minister doesn't know the bride and groom as well as they know themselves. Sometimes you get lucky. You run across a couple who will open their hearts and tell their stories in minute detail, giving you plenty to work with, but that is seldom the case. In planning a ceremony, particularly a Christian ceremony, which is all that I will perform, I find myself turning to this fine book, THE COMPLETE BOOK OF CHRISTIAN WEDDING VOWS by H. Norman Wright, over and over again. For that special couple who go the extra mile to plan the perfect ceremony and write their own vows, this book is a wonderful place to start. As I said, there is a mountain of information out there, but you don't need a mountain of information, you need a place to start, and this 200 page book is it. It will point you in the right direction and give you plenty of good ideas for your perfect day. As with most books of this nature, there is a certain amount of "page filler" fluff that could have been omitted, although there is some interest here as well, such as the chapter entitled "What Could Possibly Go Wrong". These are experiences Wright has witnessed as a officiant that might give food for thought. But the crux of the matter here are the pages filled with examples of other ceremonies, vows, prayers, vows to include others, reaffirmations and so on. There is something here that, though it may not precisely fit your special occasion, will at least give a good starting point and give you some very good ideas that you can alter to fit your needs. In the chapter on writing your own vows, there is an excellent worksheet, which I have altered slightly and adapted to my own service. I find it most useful in learning about a couple and I believe it might help you learn just what you might want in your vows. Wright also includes a good selection of prayers from virtually every Christian denomination. There is even a decent endnote bibliography in case you still want to spend more money on your ceremony. If you're reading this, you undoubtedly have a need and to that I say, congratulations on your upcoming wedding and may God grant you a life of love, happiness, peace and prosperity. Monty Rainey Wedding Ministry by Design
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