How to Marry a Black Man

I am living in my fourth marriage, so I've spent a good number of years searching for The One. Perhaps my problem in the past was that I searched haphazardly - without a plan. The last time I was single, books on female-male relationships were scarce. But now there is a proliferation of such tomes. There are books such as "The Rules," covering that common ground where all women - regardless of race - must tread, that place where you want it known you are available but not too available. But if I were single I would pay close attention to the books that advertise themselves as being specifically for Black men and Black women. I am, after all a Black woman and I generally - though not always - centered my search for a mate within my race. There are unique conditions in which Black people live, circumstances that color our perceptions and add a different dimension to relationships. Recently, I flipped through How To Marry A Black Man subtitled The Real Deal (and it is!) and howled while saying aloud, "Amen!" The two women authors write with such attitude: "If you are looking for "Prince Charming," get real. Are you really "Princess Diva"?" They don't advise lowering your standards, just being realistic and they use a workbook format at times to make you think twice about who you are and aren't and what you want and don't want. The authors, Monique and Cassandra cover the multicultural territory while probing more specific issues such as finding someone whose definition of blackness suits yours. They sprinkle in intimate details about their own lives, too. Books that prompt such pondering and planning about the process of mating seem harmless but make me wonder how our fore-parents ever found each other without instructions? I guess it's because they left so much to fate. They lived without seatbelts or bike helmets or car seats for their kids. Pretty wild people, huh? Patrice Gaines is the author of LAUGHING IN THE DARK and MOMENTS OF GRACE.

This is a fun and deceptively easy book to read. But if you follow the advice of the authors you will find yourself getting your act together FOR REAL, and getting your priorities straight when it comes to finding the right guy to marry. Some of the exercises in the book are just plain fun, like the pink bubble meditation, and some are hard, they really force you to take a good hard look at yourself, no rose colored glasses! I especially like the "Word from the Brothas" sidebars because they give you a real inside take on the thoughts of men. They are surprising! I definitely recommend this book to women who are serious about getting hitched.

This book gives great advice on the art of attracting and intriguing the opposite sex. It is not only for Black men but all men. I am happily married now for 2 years and read this book when it first came out. It helps you as a person get your mind around what you truly are invisioning in a spouse - what your core needs and desires are - so that you can weed out the good ones from the bad. I hope more people will read this book so they can get a better persepctive of the games we should play versus the games we shouldn't play - namely those with ourselves - delusion.

I take my hat off to Monique and Cassandra for having the creative wherewithal to help sistas who are in search of a black man. Many of us moan and groan about the shortage of brothers, but these two women decided to do more than complain. I absolutely loved the book and found it to be quite informative. I appreciated how they interwove humor with a very serious subject for single sistas. All in all they gave very sound advice....get your act together and you will attract a together brotha The book is definitely worth getting!!!!!

I bought this book at the BX bookstore in England,and I found the book to be enlightening. Before one has to find a husband, the ladies suggest that you find yourself first. After all, how are you going to deal with another person and you don't know how to deal with yourself? There is also places in the book where you can write in answers to questions that they ask you, and gives you plenty food for thought. A great book not only for finding a husband, but also finding yourself. There is also a picture of both authors with their husbands and children just to let you know that their plan works.